Operation Choose Joy: January 2015

That is the question.

I have found through the course of the year that there are a few routine things that happen when someone finds out about my mom. People tend to do some combination of the following. They look at me, tilt their head, and say something along the lines of “I’m sorry” and then “Are you ok?” Let me address these statements to start: first of all I am sorry too. Cancer sucks. Second, am I ok? Please don’t ask unless you really want to know. Because there is no simple answer to that question. After my awkward response, people don’t know what to say, so they ask about her treatment. I can give you specifics, but again there really is no simple answer. My mom has been on a dozen different combinations of chemotherapy along with several other drugs. We've also done diet changes when convenient and various other things. Once the medicines have been covered, almost everyone decides to share with me some article they have read about some vegetable, oil, or new found plant which in combination with other things can greatly reduce cancer. The best thing that you can do for someone in my position is just care. And learn from what I’ve learned this past year.

The next thing people do is ask me what my mom wants to do. Again, the word terminal carries a lot of weight. And to be perfectly honest, it was one of the first things I asked my mom also. We are approaching our anniversary. January 7^th was the day that my mom received her prognosis that she was terminal and the doctors best estimate was that she would have a year left. After meeting with the doctor, my family went out to dinner. While my family worked out details, I asked my mom one simple question: What do you want to do? And the scariest thing was, she didn’t really have an answer. Why do we wait to determine these things? Why do we only ask that question when we know the end is near?

So back to the original question. Do I think we should all drop everything we are doing and make a bucket list at the first possible moment? And the answer is yes and no. If I’ve learned anything from the past year, it is that we should embrace the time we have. If making a bucket list is going to motivate you to figure out what you want in life and go after it, then by all means bucket list away. If it won’t, then figure out what will. I am very pro choosing joy. I am pro finding happiness through the hard times. I am pro doing what you want and love. Sometimes that means working hard to support yourself. Other times it means quitting your job. There isn't a right and wrong. This year has been hard but I also feel like I have learned so much. It is my new year’s resolution to help others come to the same conclusion, without needing the horrible cancer part in order to make the connection.

The last thing people do when they find out about my mom is ask me if there is anything that they can do to help. Most of the time, I don’t have an easy answer to that one either. But today I do: please just choose joy! It really helps us. We post pictures, write blogs, and share silly videos because the core of “Operation Choose Joy” stems my mom’s words, which have sort of become our motto: “If I can inspire someone else to not give up, then that makes this all a little less hard.” It helps to know if we are inspiring you. It makes this all a little less hard. So now, I’m asking all of you out there to do the same. If you do something to choose joy, please use our hashtag! If you cross something off your bucket list, share it on our Facebook! Let us know that we’ve inspired you and that can inspire us to not give up.

And just to hit it off, here are some things I did in the past year which I probably wouldn't have if the circumstances were different. I wish the circumstances were different, but I'm glad that I am making the most of it. I hope you do too.

2014: The year of abundant joy. This year-