The Story Behind the Hashtag

What compels a couple of grown women to dress up in wacky costumes and waltz into a hospital like it is nothing?  Well, I will tell you, the story is probably much simpler than you would think. 

It started on a morning just like any other.  I had woken up, showered and gotten ready for my day.  Every morning right before I leave for work, I check on my mom.  I check to make sure that she is still breathing.  And so far every morning she is.  On this particular morning, I looked into her room and noticed that she was awake.  I meandered towards her and sat on the edge of the bed concerned.  She told me she was having trouble breathing and experiencing a lot of chest pains. 

One of the hardest things about being a caregiver is the uncertainty.  Of course there is the given uncertainty of how long she will live.  But in addition to that, there is so much more.  Take this instance.  Here I am, sitting on the edge of my mom’s bed with the problem of chest pains.  Any normal person knows that chest pains aren’t something to take lightly.  But what do these chest pains mean?  Did a part of her lung collapse?  Does she have a blood clot?  Is it just simple heart burn?  Should I make a big deal about it?  Should I call a doctor?  She we call 911?  Should we ignore it and go about our day?  I wish I could say this part gets easier, but it is a constant struggle.

For any other caregivers out there who may be reading my blog, I do not have any suggestion of what is the best way to handle this.  However, I can tell you what I do.  I take a deep breath.  Sometimes five or six.  Then I pray. 

Our story picks up later that day at the hospital.  We had called the doctor, been strongly encouraged to come in and as a result had gone through a bunch of tests.  My mom had been wheeled all over the hospital, me waddling behind with an armful of purses and things needed.  Since we didn’t have a scheduled appointment, we were actually hanging out in the lobby area of the cancer center to hear what information the tests would reveal.  The nurses would occasionally stop by to take vital signs, check her temperature, her pulse, breathing rate, etc.  Every time a nurse came to check anything he or she would ask for my mom’s name and birthdate.  Having been through a slew of tests that morning, my mom had been asked those question at least a dozen times.  Since she was transported from one wing of the building to the next so many times, someone, I can’t honestly remember who, had given her a stack of labels with her information on them.  So that with each new test, she would have the same hospital number and information.  The label included her name and birthday, hospital account number and a bunch of other numbers which I haven’t the faintest idea of what they meant.

Let me do my best to paint a picture.  At this point, my mom doesn’t feel well, has been all over the hospital, had a bunch of tests done, and is waiting to hear what is wrong with her.  She has a fever of over 101 and her blood pressure is 88 over 26.  She was just over it. So, in a moment of sheer defiance, my mom took one of those labels, peeled off the sticker, and stuck it straight on her forehead. 

This was the beginning of “Operation Choose Joy.”  I looked at her with that label on her head and I laughed.  Then every time a nurse or doctor came to check on my mom, they laughed.  They laughed!  So, I joined in.  I grabbed one of her labels and stuck it on my forehead too.  And all of a sudden, this day of stress switched gears.  It stopped being about my mom, and how crappy it was to spend the day in a hospital lobby.  It turned into an opportunity to make other people smile. 

For those of you who need an ending to this story, I will tell it quickly.  It was pneumonia that was causing my mom to have trouble breathing and chest pains.  We spent about a week in the hospital and she had IV antibiotics which got her over that hump.  But the bigger picture is that our “Choose Joy” mindset was birthed. 

Now, every time we have a chemo appointment, we try to think, how can we make the nurses smile?  What can we do to turn this from being about us?  How can we choose joy?  Usually the answer ends up with us in some sort of silly costume with something sugary or full of caffeine to offer.  We did not set out to be internet sensations or find out how many likes we could get on a specific picture or views on a certain video.  We simply want to spread joy.  And as my mom puts it, “If our silly little story can spread a little more joy, and inspire others to not give up, then that makes this all just a little less hard.”  So I want to encourage you to do the same!  Maybe that means something different for you.  We don't all have to walk around wearing a clown nose!  But, how can you choose joy today?  Think about it.  Speak Life, Choose Joy, Live a Life Abundant.